Thursday 17 June 2010

Wife loses husband in B&Q!

Being pregnant undoubtedly has many wonderful side effects for women as their bodies grow and change with the joy of carrying a new life. However, unfortunately there are also a few down sides for the fairer sex at this special time, one of which came to the fore last night as Mrs B and I made an impromptu trip to B&Q.

Working our way around the giant store, Mrs B got sidetracked looking at gardening tools and, safe in the knowledge that the only reason we had come in to the DIY mecca was for some fencing, I made my way to the vast and unmissable array of fencing products a few metres further on.

As I perused the overly complicated range of products, looking for the one thing I had in mind, I eventually realised that Mrs B was not by my side. No reason to worry, I was confident she was busy choosing gardening tools. However, as the minutes passed and after I had made my fencing choice, my very pregnant wife was still nowhere in sight.

Now peering up and down the aisles to see if I could see her, and carrying a weighty piece of wood under each arm, I realised very quickly that she had wondered off and was nowhere to be seen.

Little did I need to worry, however, as a couple of minutes later the relative peace and quiet of B&Q was shattered with a PA announcement:

"MESSAGE FOR MR B, PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK WHERE YOUR WIFE IS WAITING FOR YOU!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Never, in my entire life, had it been necessary to locate me in a public space via the assistance of a man with a microphone. I could almost feel the eyes of B&Qs other customers boring in to me and the sound of strangers' chuckles ringing in my ears.

There, by the customer service desk, looking like a six-year-old who had lost her father, was my wife. I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Had the words "I'm going to the fencing section," really been that cryptic?

Having eventually sheepishly left the store, we laughed at the ridiculousness of what had just happened, Mrs B putting her failure to remember details and over zealous PA usage down to 'pregnancy brain.'

Researching a little further in to this it seems that there is some debate over whether pregnancy or baby brain exists. SEE FOR YOURSELF HERE.

However, we have little doubt in our household and won't be returning to B&Q any time in the near future.

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