Friday, 27 January 2012

Techno genius

It seems my 15-month-old son is a master of modern technology.

Over the last few days he has taken his fleeting moments of chance (when his parents have dared let their eyes wonder from him for a fraction of a second) to snatch the nearest high-tech gadget he can reach.

'What harm can he do?' I used to foolishly think. Well, the answer is 'a lot!' Indeed, it transpires that two seconds are all he needs to press a combination of buttons on the TV remote that fundamentally alters the set up of our telly, muting whatever we were watching, bringing up subtitles we can't get rid of and changing the ratio of the screen to cut off all visible heads! Two seconds!!!!

And it was the same with my phone. A momentary snatch and grab, and now I'm locked out! How does he do it? These advanced manoeuvres take me ten minutes, five different menu screens and about 50 keystrokes, but my genius son can do it in the blink of an eye.

I'm tempted to take him along to CERN, the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland, to shave decades of work off the boffins' search for the answers to the big bang and the creation of life as we know it. All they really need to find what they're looking for is to allow an infant in the control room for 30 seconds!

On a separate note, does anyone know how to revert my phone's language from Turkish back to English?!

Sunday, 15 January 2012

It's been a while...

It probably hasn't required any Sherlock-like powers of observation on your behalf to spot the slight gap between this blog's last post and today's all-new offering. A period of eight months, no less.

However, while this may be stretching the definition of 'regular blogger' a bit far, I am pleased to say that Clued Up Dads is back in action and I can henceforth promise that posts will be at least seasonal, if not daily!

'So where have you been?' I hear you call (or at least vaguely murmur).

Well, when last we met Baby B was but a predominantly immobile seven-month old, happy to stay in one place and amuse himself with a sock. Today, however, he is toddling precariously around the lounge, smashing the telly remote control against the wall, attempting to escape our clutches at every opportunity, eating American-size portions of food and getting through clothes faster than Lady Gaga.

Which gives you a slight clue as to why my dedication to CUD may have wavered slightly over the last eight months.

The time has, however, been utterly magical and although I may moan with increasing regularity today, I wouldn't have changed any of it for the world (frequency of soiled nappies aside).

'So, why I are you back?' I hear myself call, for the sake of a narrative tool.

Well, this July my wife and I will be starting all over again as Baby B2 (The Sequel) is due to join our ever manic household, and I thought I'd share the journey from hereon in with you all once again.

Are we prepared? Absolutely not. Do we know what to expect? Only the prospect of eternal tiredness.

One thing's for certain though, it's going to be an adventure!

Right then, where's that TV remote?